In contrast of my feminist ranting, here's a tip on smooth shaving!

If you are like me, you're entire body is covered in hair. At least it's mostly blonde hair, but still. I'm like an Aryan sasquatch. "Pilar" means "covered in hair," and that would be my name if the Beatles had written a song in Spanish instead of French (real name: Michelle.) Pilar was actually Kylie's name in Spanish class, and I went with the more stripper-tastic Claudia, (I was sick of Margarita) but I digress.

My razor budget takes up a bigger chunk of my non-existent income than I would prefer, and I was internetting the other day and discovered a nifty trick I would like to elaborate on: Sharpening cheapo razors.

Shave per usual with a new razor.

Take your now slightly dull razor before next use or after initial use; just make sure it's dry.

Take out a piece of sturdy denim. Maybe it's jeans, maybe it's a vest with a Slayer patch poorly ironed on the back. Your call, so long as it has six inches or so of denim at least razor width in...width. Lay it on a flat surface, smooth it out. Applying slight pressure, run the razor in reverse direction on the denim about a dozen times, swiftly. Remember, opposite direction of how you actually use the razor, don't shave the pants. "Shaving the pants" will become a dirty dance or sexual maneuver once I think of something appropriate to go behind it.

If your razor is completely dull to the point of cheese-grater like horrors, fear not. Swiping a good 50+ times will return it to nearly new quality. That sounds time consuming, but I did it today and it took all of 30 seconds. I also shaved, and it fucking worked like a dream. I'm so excited and mad at myself at the same time. I could have saved so much money over so many years.

Further info: This process works by evening out any slight bending that occurs while shaving (and consequently catches on your skin and misses hairs) more than it does any actual sharpening, but it does that as well.

Also, if your razor has a moisture strip, consider a funeral service first. It's toast, but if you lotion before and after you should be fine, and just be sure to use ample amounts of cream/gel/soap/whatever.

For razor bumps on the bikini line, consider washing the area with an acne cleanser containing an active ingredient, like sialic acid or benzoyl peroxide, before and after shaving.

I hope you've been inspired to be less hairy. Or not.